LANKY GUEST BOOK ARCHIVE...

Dave lad .... Ev tekkena sken at thi site an ah rekkon tha's geeta gradlyun 'ere .. ah ed a reet gud laff. But sithi .. ow cum that thur's nobut 40 int' group ahm in? ... Esta geet a likkle group fert' daft 'uns like me?! .... an weers rest of'em eh?!!Tarra then.

Comments: Loved the site, am now an expat having lived in Norfolk for 2 years (don't get me started on the dialect down here!) I enjoyed the piece on the Royal Ordinance Factory as I used to live in Gorse Covert, Warrington just near the old site. I also remember being taken to see the site on a school trip in the early 80's when the old factory doors and chimneys were still standing. Going back to dialect, I remember my Nan used to talk about 'slutch' (mud), as in 'That yard's full o' slutch' (it's muddy out there!) Also, does anyone remember 'Peas above sticks' referring to someone who's a bit above themselves? Keep up the good work!

Comments: My grand dad whose name was Samuel Howarth was from Oldham, born 1900. He used to say to me when I was being a pill, that he was going to give me a "forpney-one". Sorry I don't know how it's spelled. I've tried to find it in all the slang dictionaries, but to no avail. When I asked him what it meant, he would show me his four fingers, then his thumb, make a fist and say "this is a forpney-one". Has anyone heard this expression? If so, is it from the lancs or somewhere else?

Nellie Brooks (maiden name Shipley )Her husband Ted repaired the part of Darwen Tower that was really deteriorating they also have a home in Spain and spend a lot time there We visit Morecambe with another friend and love The Lake District. Again thanks for sharing all this good stuff, Luv and Ta Ta For now,

Thanks. -Chris McNeil Centerpoint Theater Co. San Francisco, USA

Dave: Chris... Think Oasis rather than the Beatles... There's a guy on TV and radio  over here called Terry Christian whose voice would be a role model. Try a search on the net. Anyone else help - please get in touch with Chris direct.

Comments: i thought them jokes about yorkshire folk were funny when i lived back home in lancashire, now i'm stuck in yorkshire there hilarious. thanks for the laugh?

Comments: Originally from Farnworth -moved to Adlington in 1974 and left for NZ in 1986 Used to go to the Red Lion folk club and the Brinsop but mostly the Bay Horse and White Bear in Adlington. Went to ST Gregs in Farnworth

Sincerely, Jim Sandy.

Dave: Jim. I regret to say that the link is no longer operative so I don't know where the site is. I have tried doing a search but can't find it. This is a pity - it was absolutely brilliant. If anyone knows where it is, please get in touch asap.

I've just discovered your site and I love it.  I was born in Southport, Lancs. and came to the U.S.A in 1956.  I had forgotten some of the Lanky expressions but they came back in a flash the minute I read them.  If there is anyone from Southport out there or from any place hear Southport  I would love to hear from them.
Regards,
Patricia Johnson

Me Mowing..

Can anyone please tell me  if I have the above spelt correctly ? and if not, how it should be spelt ?!- Stuart Hammond

Dave: It's meemawing and comes from the mills and weaving sheds where, unable to make themselves heard, the workers would mouth the words in an exaggerated manner (a la Les Dawson) to enable the person to whom they were speaking to lip read.

but have lived in Freckleton all my life. I noticed a letter posted by Michael Threlfall, are we related some how? im John Threlfall by the way. Thats how i came across this site actually, i typed my name in and searched, and because Michael had posted a letter it came up with this web page. however when i first saw the name i thought it meant tall thin men!,which is also what i am, so i would have looked at the site either way.Great site, loved the gags about yorkshire!

John Threlfall

Over a period of several days the others played a trick on him. Whilst Lol was away brewing his tea they took one of the eggs, punched a hole in the end and stuck in a large black bristle from the yard brush. A quick dab of salt covered the hole. Each day the same thing happened - as he knocked the top off the bristle would spring up "B**dy *ll" he would say " One o' th'ens keeps pickin' up bristles in't yard". I'll kill when I find which one it is! He never found out. Lol swore manual labour was a Spaniard and spent one happy lunchtime trying to lift himself up in a bucket.

Dave: My granny used to say "Layholes for Meddlers and crutches for lame ducks"...

come home for our dinner and my dad would have a plate of jam fritters waiting for us. These were nothing more than jam butties wit'crusts cut off, dipped in batter an' fried int' chip pon. We felt really privileged because he swore he'd been out and bought'em and we always believed him. Dave, I'd love to get hold of some tapes of " Lanky Spoken Here" if they are available.

Cheers. I'll bet youv'e heard this one a few times.....asbinmanbinmam..........Alsithi.- John McGowan

Dave: Tommy Thompson was a Lancashire genius. A friend of mine, Bernard Wrigley, alias the Bolton Bullfrog, has recently been reading TT''s brilliant stories on Radio Lancashire. If you write to them at Blackburn, they might be good enough to send you a copy.

Dave
I found your site by doing a search on Black Peas, but I can't find any reference to them on the site.
I'm originally from Bolton (not Atherton I'm afraid) but now live "deawn Seawf". I've been invited to a Bonfire but was disturbed to learn that there'll be no black peas or parkin - worse still, they've never heard of 'em down here. So what I'd really like to do is get my hands on some and educate these Southern Jessies.
If you've any ideas how I can go about this, I'd be most grateful.
Thanks & regards -Sean

Dave sez: Sean. Just for you, here is a recipe for Parkin and Blanketlifters. The Parkin is from an old recipe by Mrs Florrie Jones of Atherton.

Now get 'em made and show them Southern Jessies what proper jackbit is.

Thank you Dave for the comprehensive Lancashire web site. Can you or any of your guests help me with this question: what are the origins of the phrase "X has a mouth like a new turning"? I suspect it is similar to "X has a mouth like a busy intersection". For this to be true, new roads that take off from the main must automatically attract a lot of traffic. Is this phrase familiar to anyone here? It supposedly has Lancashire origins. I am writing from the central coast of California. email:avawter1@email.msn.com

Dave: Never heard of it. Could be a mining expression. Anyone help?

You know it never occurred to me growing up in Clitheroe that "thrutch" was anything other than a verb meaning the action needed to precipitate an orgasm.But then I went into Valley Entrance in Kingsdale, and the description of that in "The Pennine Underground" includes a "short well-watered thrutch". But that really requires the same sort of action.Stephen Nightingale Kyoto, Japan.

Anne Maher (nee McDermott) from Burnley 1939 to 1954. Now living in Southport ,North Carolina, USA. Would like to hear from anyone in Burnley at the above time frame. Lived near Piccadilly Road and then Rosegrove. jaamah@webtv.net

JOKE 1;BLOKE ASKS THE VET TO EXAMINE HIS CAT. VET ASKS "IS IT A TOM?" NO I'VE BROUGHT IT WITH ME
JOKE 2;WHAT TIME IS IT IN WIGAN WHEN THERE IS A PIE ON THE TOWN HALL CLOCK? SUMMAT TO EIGHT
CHEERS FROM DARRYL PORRINO IN ACCRINGTON

Hi:

Just found your website: absolute bonus! My new mate from Salford has

just returned home, and my phone bill's going through the roof here in

Adelaide. I luv hearing his voice, y'see, and your book is bloody

marvellous for me when I've got *&^*%! no idea what the hell he's

saying. He just rang me (at 5 am my time!) - I rang him back on his

mobile a little later: by then he was in a pub in Manchester with Our

Kevin, and it was a challenge to keep up with em I can tell you! I'll

send him the Lanky website just fer a larf! thanks Victoria

ned!

bryan from ont canada.hi dave just found your site it is exellent site.well me and thold lady will bi coming wom for a fortnit holiday in june.i was born in farnorth bowton thold lady born in wogden lanky.i can rember when my farther got mad with me he would say thed cause bother in a empty ouse.or maybe he would say.thed make a nun swear.but dave i was a good boy.mi mam told mi so been in canada thirty years.my wife and i still have our lanky accent.merry christmas and happy new year. BRYAN

bryan from canada email chores@aztec-net.com 11 JAN 2001

Hi dave saw the message from roger .He wanted to know how to make oven bottoms i emailed him but it would not go though .In Bolton they are called flour cakes in Manchester they are called barm cakes.
In Georgetown where i live they are called [baps] well i have a recipe .if roger or any one would like to bake them.

4 cups flour 1 tea sp salt 1 tea sp sugar 1 package dry yeast 1 quarter cup lard (the soft secret perhaps.

Set the yeast working with the sugar and half the liquid warmed to tepid. sift flour and salt .rub into the lard. When the yeast is frothy add it to the flour with the remaining liquid. mix to a soft dough; cover and leave to rise for one hour. punch down, knead lightly; divide into small pieces 2 by 3 inches. Leave for about 20 minutes brush with water dust with flour and bake at 425 degrees for about 15 to 20 minutes 
makes about one dozen.

Dave sez: Thanks for that - you can't beat a Barm Joe as we call em..

Last neat
I seen a leat
It was so breat
It frickenned me't dearth


From a Wigan lass living in Malta
Andrea McNamara

Email: tony@pomfret.demon.co.uk

Sender: Tony Pomfret in Bent (Atherton)

Comments: Well, God bless thi, ahv bin ont net fer a lung time (from't DOS days till neh) an ah dint no that this wer ere, ahm fain ahv feynd it. phew this is hard work, I was looking for some Lancashire poem and found this, still not found it. I wonder if you know it, or where I could find it. I don't know the title but it goes something like:-

God bless thi little smiling face,
thei looks so fawse an good
thei looks up into thi faithers een,
Ah cud eyt thi that ah cud.

That's as much as I know Dave???

The other poem that I am after is called "Howdin 'Th' Chilt by "Billy
Button"I would be most grateful if someone knows where I can get a copy.Another recitation that I know and very fond of is called "Ar friend  Jem",
It goes like this:-

Jem Wilson ee wer a bonnie blade
An iron mouder wer is trade
Ney ar Jem ad a good an sobber waif
Er wert cumfert of is laif
But er wer often grief an often thinkin
Ey fert breyk im off this pay day drinkin
So one neet er sez " Jem, dust eer"
"Ah want thit stop suppin beer",
So Jem sez " Nan, theyt reet"
"An if ah shud live till next pay neet,
Ahl cum wom wi mi brass
An ah shall not av a single glass"

Well, Jem cum wom that pay neet
Steady, sober, an is brass awreet
Burre cudnt be induced to stay
Ee wer wus than an en as wanted to lay
Jem sez " Nan, Its no use, thi goint raffle a goose at 'Bill o Bobs'
an mah names deyn"
So Nan sez " Jem, just rait it deyn wot ah mun do fert pleus thi an av aw things reet" un er browt im papper pen an ink
"A mi slippers warmin up at fender, at kekle warmin up ont thob
An sure as gerrit rakin cob, fer wen ah cum wom, as want mi tay"
Jem laffed an went is way.

As ee wer cummin wom that Setdy neet
Ee thowt eed cum bit nearest way
As ee climbed oert garden waw
Er friend Jem ad an ugly faw
Not in a bed of roses,
Nay, not in a bed of poses
But in summat nasty, soft an weet,
Iy, an summat as dint smell so sweet

"Nan, Nan, Nan". ee roard
As ard as ee cud sheit
"Nan,Nan, cum on an elp mi eyt"
Nan coom an sed " Bi owl thi clatter
Ast not, fer thats not deyn ont papper!"

I hope that you like the above because I do and it's taken some time to write it down. I don't know the Author, maybe someone does.
I love your web site and will be popping in every now and again
CU Soon -Tony

Dave sez: Can anyone help my mate Tony? Send him an email with any answers you may have. Thanks...

How do?

I found your website very informative, very well-thought-out and thankfully free of all the pretension that passes for "academia". I myself speak the Long Eaton subdialect of Nottingham English, and that language has a lot of features in common with
your own. Danish forbears, evidentally. It's just unfortunate that so many native speakers are taught to "speak proper" and are chastised for using their first language. I seriously believe that doing so massively wears down a child's self-esteem, and that this has enormous implications for later life. It's all part of a programme to annihilate any diversity of language, culture or political aspiration, and it's very, very depressing.
Oh well. Least it's not France, eh?
A sample of my language, in my own orthography (which leaves a lot to be desired, I know, and which leaves me open for accusations of pretension myself): Maijnnd áat, laijgk, unn dóann leh' dhu bogguz gej juh dáann. Rifjúz unn rizist.

Críostóir Ó Ciardha -speaks Irish too

Iarnóta: What do you think of the possibility of Norse
influence or origin for northern English variants then?

Dave Sez: Thank you Criostoir for your encouraging remarks.

From jenniesimmons@btinternet.com

Well, I enjoyed your website, which I came across when looking for a recipe for genuine Bury black pudding. My mother is an exiled Bury lass, and although a mongrel, I can't stand the foul muck sold as black pudding these days. Any ideas where I can look? My grandfather was also in the trenches, but although a Bury man, when he volunteered as a bandsman he was posted to the Bedfordshires. I think he was at Ypres with them. He was a crack shot before the war and often had to raid the German trenches to get prisoners for intelligence, which I understand was a highly dangerous job. He was eventually badly gassed and invalided out, but only survived until 1948 and died of the effects of the gassing. We don't have much information on him as my mother and uncle didn't want to listen to the horror stories. I think he also suffered from post traumatic stress at one time. If you ever come across the name of Ernest Davenport I'd be pleased to hear about him. He ran a dance band in the town and played clarinet etc. Cheerio. jennie.

Dave sez: Jenny. Have a look at our book recommendation on 

www.nyt.co.uk/Lancashirebooks.htm

Dave , I get a real chuckle every time I visit your web site,but I need some help. Does anyone know how to make OVEN BOTTOM MUFFINS, can't get um ere in Canada. Place must be run by Yorkshiremen. Any help appreciated .
Anyone wants to drop me a line any time please do. Come from MOSSLEY famous for inventing fish and chips, its true honest.   Thanks Mate,A reet gradely site - Roger -fourfinger@hotmail.com

Dave sez: Come on - help the lad...

I hat sher this un wi yer.  Me mum's second hubby, Fred is 80 yer owd.  When I had me first cherub here int States, I were yappin to im ont phone an he said "Weel haff cum't wet bebbie's yed."  Know warrit means?*
I'm from Bolton but have lived in  Galveston, Texas for 20 years.  Left there when I was 20 to travel the world and I did.  Married an American GI in Germany and that's all she wrote.

Really enjoyed this site.  Had me in tears o' joy and sorrow.  Miss me owd Bowton, ah do an me mum an sister there. A'm proud of me heritage an me accent which ha'nt changed er bit. 
Even I don't understand Fred sometimes, he's proper broad and comes out wi um sometimes. 
*Meaning: meeting the baby for the first time.

Thanks for a great, entertaining and very nostalgic read.  I will be back. Julie Hood

Email: arnold@yaps37.freeserve.co.uk

Sender: Llanelli, South west Wales

Comments: It's terrific to read Lancs dialect, and I will be coming back for more.

Email: my-fair-lady@talk21.com

Sender: Rochdale

Comments: Does anybody know what 'Piffy on a Rock' means?
During one of my lectures at college we started to discuss dialect and somebody mentioned that their Grandmother used to say "I'm stook here like Piffy on a rock". Nobody knew what it meant but quite a few people had heard it said before.
Can you help????

Dave sez: The expression is "Like Piffy on a rock cake". It means being like the proverbial spare one at a wedding ie - someone who feels out of place or who is kept waiting for something (though who Piffy was or what he or she or it was doing standing on a rock cake of all things is beyond me? Anyone know? Just shows how surreal Lanky can be...

Email: ladyermintrude@yahoo.com

Sender: Lesley, Sarasota, Florida

Comments: "Ow do?"
I can't believe it, luv!
I was given your book for a Christmas present when I was in Bury this past December.

I left the old mill town in 62[thank god] shortly before the Irwell was cleaned up and before the local idiots on the town council tore up the beautiful centre of town, ...I used to take the electric train from Bolton Street Station (long gone) into Manchester in the 50s and wonder what colour the daily clouds of foam would be as they floated down the river & under the railway bridge.

I worked as a 'typist' in Manchester and paid 2s & 6d each way on the train from 57 - 59 when I had enough money saved & somehow talked my way into College with only 5 "O" levels.

After graduating from Matlock Teachers' Training College I went to teach in Fleet, Hants., where no-one could understand a word I said. So, realizing that my teaching days were over, I went off to the colonies where I have been ever since.

'Over t'years' an appreciation for all things Lanky has slowly crept into my soul. I work for an airline & sometimes work the JFK - MAN run.

The crews really like the Lanky passengers because the kids are polite and the adults are very funny...especially after a couple of Tetley's. I often have to translate for the yanks onboard.

When they comment on how different the Northerners are from the Londoners I have to explain the difference between Viking blood & Norman blood and how the 2 will never understand each other...the red rose & the white rose rivalry is harder to explain though because they look & sound so much alike to a Yank, grin..

I am very glad to find this web site after doing a web search for "Lancashire Roots" and will return often.

If anyone out there is a graduate of Bury High School (also gone for ever) I would love to hear from you....My sister went to East Ward Secondary and lives in California with her Yank husband & 2 sons and I know she would like to hear from anyone who went there in the 50s.

TTFN, Lesley.

Dave sez: I'm glad the crew love us Lankies. There's nowt wrong wi gradely fooak...Nice email Lesley...

Comments: an enjoyable site to visit!!!  Many tears shed over the jokes and sayings.   Thanks!!!!!!

A Lancashire Lass .. Sheila Hart

This was sent by an emailer who spotted it in Lancashire Legends by Harland and Wilkinson which was first published in 1883 and is now out as a re-printed version.

Two Lancashire riddles:

Red within, and red without;
Four corners round about.


Four stiff standers,
four dillydanders
Two hookers, two snookers,
and a flip-flap.


Answers  - 1.   a brick.   2. a cow.

Email: rogernuttall@hotmail.com

Sender: Accrington

Comments: Ah reet gud site this is!

Email: JosiMT@aol.com

Sender: Jose   Granger Indiana

Comments: Re. Kevin's comment.My parlor name is Josephine Maria, after my Uncle Joe and my Aunty Maria. As my maiden name was Gaskell and we lived in the Orrell/Billinge area, where there are more Gaskells than Smiths or Jones's,then you had to be a bit different. I still get called "our" Jose by the family even though there are not that many Jose folk around! Thanks for the comment. This is a great site,isn't it!  Jose. :-)

Email: akabbott@hotmail.com

Sender: Alison Abbott/Ann Arbor, Michigan US

Comments: I 'aven't bin 'ome to Bolton in 14 year. Thanks for the memories (and the refresher course)!!!-Alison

Sender: Phil o'Daves, Preston

Comments: What a reight gradely web site

Well, isn't this interesting. I live in Lancaster PA which is bass ackwards on the map from York...here you have to go west to get to York. Oddly enough, we still call ourselves "The Red Rose City" and York still calls itself the white rose city.....would you believe that even as I write this our two cities are competing for the honor of being called "The All-American City."
And in our Lancaster, a great portion of the populace celebrates Cinco De Mayo.......and that here in Lancaster Pennsylvania you might even find a good lot of the Amish still speaking Pennsylvania Dutch.
Let me axe you something......in spite of the efforts of radio and TV announcers speaking a homogenized form of British.......much as they do with the so-called Standard American Dialect.....do regional dialects still thrive, or are they getting swallowed up? There is a place off the coast of Virginia, in the Chesapeake Bay called Tangier Island. For years there was no TV or radio and interestingly enough......many of the inhabitants still spoke a dialect similar to that spoken in Kent. Now that TV has made its mark on the local culture, the Tangier dialect has faded considerably......this in only the last 20 or 30 years.
I am fascinated by the rivalry between Lancashire and Yorkshire. We don't tell York jokes in Lancaster.......but when I was living in Berwick (also in PA) I made up some jokes about Berwick and here they are: What do you call a skinny person in Berwick? A tourist. What's there to see in Berwick that is good? Seeing Berwick in your rear-view mirror, for starters...
Anyway, I had a good time

Dave sez: Dear Jewel, Thank you for your fascinating email. Glad to know that the Red Rose\White Rose rivalry is being carried on over the Pond. Regional dialects do survive. You would not understand a broad Lancashire speaker or a Geordie (native of the North East). Interestingly, your use of the word axe for ask used to be a feature of Lancashire dialect (still might be used by some old-timers) and I believe it comes from the Anglo-Saxon acsian meaning to ask. Good luck to the Red Rose City. Perhaps you should twin with Lancaster, Lancashire. (The name means Castle on the River Lune). 

Email: faricy@primus.com.au

Sender: Kevin Faricy Barrack Heights NSW Australia

Comments: Hi Jose Granger Indiana
I get my Uncle Joes from my Daughter Wendy who lives in San Jose California How about that for round the world service.Any road Jose not a Wigan name was your mam scared by a spanish onion.
Kevin

Hi there Dave,

Wonder whether you can help me with summat -- I've always been curious to know how this "Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs" phrase came about. 

I'm guessing it's a euphemism for "Well I'll be damned" or "Well I'll go to hell" (altered for the obvious superstitious reasons) . . . but *why* the foot of the stairs?

Any ideas?  Just wondering whether there's some kind of specific source, similar to "Gone for a Burton", or whether it's just a nonsense-phrase like "I'll be a monkey's uncle".

Cheers,Andy (Glasgow -- raised in Cheshire!)

Dave sez: I  think it is a cleaned up version of something. For foot read f**k... As in I'll go to Hanover for I'll go to Hell...It is just a nonsense phrase...

Email: ctunon@icddrb.org

Sender: Bangladesh

Comments: Very factual, informative and funny.
What does "scran" mean in Liverpool?

Dave sez: Snap, jackbit, grub, - I mean food...

Email: weir@btinternet.com

Sender: Maurice Fletcher,7 Richard St,Weir,Bacup,Lancashire

Comments: A moggie is a cat and a teacake only has currants in if it's a currant teacake and a fritter is a slice of potato dipped in batter and fried.....it is NOT a scolopp.
Well at least that's how it is around here!

Dave sez: What a load of scallops!

A moggy is something that a cat catches; what you call a teacake is a barmcake and we don't eat anything as poncy as a fritter in Lancashire...

Email: Yorky2UALL@aol.com

Sender: Jeff Stones, Appleton, Wisconsin, USA

Comments: I s'ppuas ah'd berrer 'umor yah buggers an' write t' yous..... burr a dun't reckon ah should.
Anyhow...ahm in America..teeachin' dem Yanks 'ow t' speyk propper... then ahm comin' ooem to teeach your lot.
Dave sez: The day a Yorky teaches a Lanky to speyk propper is the day Boycott turns humble...

Email: Littlmum@aol.com

Sender: St Helens - Lancashire (never ever Merseyside)

What a wonderful site.  I am proud of my heritage and am a Lancastrian - nothing else.   I can trace my family back to the early 1500's to Oldham and  to the early 1200's to Clitheroe. 

I get a heck of a lot of flack from the Scousers (they say they are different to the rest of us) I work with day in and day out, and not as a joke either, but we Lankies can give as much as we tek.

Keep on the good work and thank you very much for the site.
Dave sez: Scousers have such a lovely accent that it puts the rest of us to shame...

Email: aitchmoon@aol.com

Sender: St.Helens

Comments: N.A.S.A have recently announced that they are to abandon their S.E.T.I.(search for extra terrestial intelligence) project and are going for the vastly more difficult S.I.L.Y.(search for intelligent life in Yorkshire)project.

Dave sez: No piggin' chance! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha etc..........

Email: JosiMT@AOL.com

Sender: Jose          Granger,Indiana

Comments: Eh up! Neil Worthington int thonly un wi Unker Joes. Ah keep um i'th freezer. Nex time ahm wom, ah'll 've me sum more. Ah've gotfot ration em owt, else them'll be gone. But tha's welcome to um if tha cums ith door. Ay, the kettle's allus on at ower 'ouse! If tha wants Lanky tales fot childer, then Keith Roberts is yer mon. E ad un 'bout a Boggert. E's t'lad us sang un wrote songs. Eyup, ah've gotfot go. Ah'll sithi.

Sender:   Granger  Indiana  U.S.A.

Comments: Thank you for this site. I will be visiting again. Having been born bred and buttered in the Wigan area, it is like coming home. Ta. J.

Email: ALISANN@bigpond.com

Sender: AUSTRALIA

Comments: I would like to get hold of the mr. & mrs Ramsbottom, yer know went to zoo, stick wit orses ead andle an all that.

Email: barbara.barnes@care4free.net

Sender: barbara.barnes rochdale lancs

Comments:  I have never laughed as much as when I read the jokes and comments that expatriates had written.  I will be going into WH Smiths to buy the book. 

Email: skem6@cs.com

Sender: dallastown PA USA

Comments :miss auld lanky ,reading your pages keeps the memories vivid.thanks dave,from a skem lad.

Email: petew@camton24.freeserve.co.uk

Sender: Pete Walmsley   Swindon\Wiltshire

Comments: Good web site - keep our language alive!

Email: goldens@compuserve.com

Sender: Preston

Comments: I've lived in Preston for well over 40 years, and have always been intrigued by the saying 'in dickies meadow'. You still hear it mentioned occasionally - but what is its origin? Assumedly it is a Lancashire saying, but can you explain where it comes from?
Gordon Small  

Email: salfordron@canada.com

Sender: Ron Taylor, Calgary Canada via Salford

Comments:Reet good, page.I really enjoyed it.I  live in Calgary now, been here 18years.I was born in Salford but lived most of my life in Little  Hulton.
I worked at the bus Depot in Salford, Cheers,
Ron

Email: Brian Fogg   E mail www.Bfogg@upath.com

Sender: St. Catherines. Ontario. Canada.

Comments: Is all saints school still open.??? I would like
to ear from old school mates from about 1946 to 1949. Some names i remember from back then are Bidders, Betty Elmer my first love. Towlers, Grundy.s Tommy Hall. What a treat finding your web site. Tara fo now. Brian.
 

Email: markjjones@hotmail.com

Sender: Mark Jones, Cambridge

Comments: I'm a PhD student at Cambridge University interested in doing some research on Lancashire dialect, especially as spoken Preston-Blackburn area.
Over the summer I aim to do some fieldwork, and I'd really appreciate any contacts of people who might be interested in helping out and being recorded (in their own homes). I grew up in Sheffield, but don't hold that against me!

Thanks for your help, Mark Jones
(also e-mail at mjj13@cam.ac.uk, snail mail
at Trinity College, Cambridge, CB2 1TQ)

Email: faricy@primus.com.au

Sender: Kevin Faricy Barrack Heights NSW Australia

Comments: Great site.Love all the attempts at Lancashire accents -not being critical just love it
When I was youngster sixty years ago me Mam told us this. I am the ghost of the slopstone pipe if you don't give me a penny I'll stay all night.
Whenever we tried it the miserable sods turned the tap on. Bloody cold in winter.

Email: scorpio@aceconnect.com.au

Sender: Eilleen Ovenden

Comments: Just such a wonderful site. Loved it, will be back again

Email: kirstione@aol.com

Sender: Kirsten Hunter, Miami Beach, Fl. USA

Comments: Brill site!
I'm a Lancashire Lass from Horwich.
I wonder is anyone knows the rest to a song that starts:
We're reet down in't coal 'ole
Wit muck slapped on't winders
And when't bailiff cums ere
E won't be able fo't find us

One of my teachers used to sing it to us at school
I'd love to know the rest of it- and who wrote it

Email: brownaf@mcmaster.ca

Sender: Amy Brown, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Comments: Thanks for a good laugh and a chance to practice a bit of my old stomping ground's dialect!  I'm a university student who spent a year in Lancashire.

Email: cichowicz@telocity.com

Sender: John Cichowicz/Charlotte, NC USA

Comments: Born in Ashton-in Makerfield, I've been back several times and enjoy listening to the Lanky dialect!

Email: grazioli7@hotmail.com

Sender: Graham-John Aspin, i' Blackburn

Comments: Owdo. Ah's fair 'appy, ter see seh monny Lanky sites o' t' net, like. This is a good 'un, an' all. Weel dun, lad, ah think ah'll cum 'ere agen.

We must preserve our language-never mind Standard English and all that public school rubbish. We're from Lancashire. Wi mun speyk lahk it, an' all!

Just surfing round and found your site. Excellent piece about the relatives.
Also nice to know you also have problems with 'Yorkies'. 
I live in Lincolnshire ( and proud of it ), and get mistaken for a 'Yorkie' when I mention Grimsby as people have no idea of geography.
You can always tell a Yorkshire man ! Within 1 min of conversation, he will have told you so !!!!!!!!!!!!
I was once watching Yorkshire TV ( unfortunately our local TV station ) and it was ' Great Yorkshire Day '. They were roaming the county and stopping people asking them what it meant to them. They, unfortunately for them, stopped a man from Lincolnshire who replied ' We don't need a special day for it, Lincolnshire is always 'Great' . I cheered anyway !!!!
Keep up the good work

Ian Jackson

Email: fturner@telusplanet.net

Sender: Frank Turner, Edmonton, Canada

Comments: It's reet gud!

Email: nick@deep-online.com

Sender: nick duckett london

Comments: very funny web site. must get the book. Do you know of any collections of Lancashire folk tales for children?

Dave sez: Sorry Nick. I don't know of any - can anyone else help? 

Email: vk4flc@optusnet.com.au

Sender: Frank L Crawshaw BRISBANE AUSTRALIA

Comments: Nice to see a bit of Lancashire dialect. no doubt it is dying out. Reminds me of when I was young . Now 78 years of age. As they say out here good onya cobber .My home town was Accrington, Church  and ossy bye for now

Email: Brenda@swarhurst.freeserve.co.uk

Sender: B.Warhurst nee Smith . Heckington Sleaford

Comments: EEh by gum I ne'er thowt I'd ever see nowt like this ont computer I'll be blowed !
Dust onyone remember me ah was Brenda Smith from up Bowshire. send me one of these eer fancy emails
Ah used tr go tr Middleton Parish Church school durin last war!

Email: lingo1@tm.net.my

Sender: Andrea Eling ,Kuala Lumpur. Malaysia

Comments: Ahm frae Clitheroe. Ah've just logged on to find out summat abaht clogs and fun thy site. Well, laughed misel to dee'ath. Ah'll bi back. Sithee.
Mind thee, Ah didn't laugh much at them war bits. Very moving. Am banna tell mi mum and dad i' Blegburn.

Email: bhfriday@dellnet.com

Sender: Barbara H. Friday, Port Charlotte, Florida, U.S.A

Comments: I am enjoying your site. Brings back a lot of memories. I lived in Prestwich, Lancs. Do you have any info on Heaton Park/Prestwich? Cheers. Barbara

Dave: No info - but maybe someone else can help..?

Sender: Lackyband Assassin, Chorley

Comments: Oh eck is sheeded is ale.

Email: Spadge64@yahoo.com

Sender: Cathy from Stockport

Comments:
   Cool pages and if anyone wants to answer questions for my A-level Lanky Accent and Dialect project I would be very grateful!!!!! E-mail me with your e-mail address at Spadge64@yahoo.com
   Cheers!

Email: mark.pendlebury@tesco.net

Sender: Mark Pendlebury , Leigh

Comments: Love the site sadly too young to have seen you when you recorded "Lanky Spoken 'Ere" in Leigh, But I do have a scratched "Well Played" L.P. of same. Also I am an entertainer "D.J." & an aquaintance of "Gary & Vera Aspey" be seeing them on Sunday afternoon 13/2/00 at Formby hall Atherton. Keep up the good work.

Mark (F.O.R.L. 10519/WD)
www.markberryexperience.co.uk

Dave sez: Cheers Mark. I saw Gary recently. The Aspeys are great entertainers. Lanky Spoken 'Ere was a scream to do.

Sender: Phil H, Sheffield

Comments: I'm from Manchester originally.  Recently I e-mailed a female friend and called her Little Miss Naughty Knickers.  Given that it should probably have been spelt "Nowty" can anyone confirm the existence and meaning of the word so that I can placate her?

Great site BTW

Dave sez: Nowty is a good old Lanky word. Means mischievous\ naughty\ bad-tempered as in "nowtyback!"  It exists all right.

Email: pforshaw@freenetname.co.uk

Sender: Paul Forshaw, Atherton

Comments: Here's a joke with a Lanky punchline:
Before she became famous, a well known Olympic javelin thrower worked as a delivery driver for a bakery in Lancashire.
Whenever she made a delivery, she was greeted with the phrase "Eigh up! It's Fatima wi't'bread"
Website: http://www.afpdesign.co.uk/

Email: Lizzie_Lawrenson@hotmail.com

Sender: Lizzie in Nottingham

Comments: Its a reet good site lad, an a joy for all expats

Dear Dave,

I was just showing my dad your website - I bought him and my brother (who has emigrated to London)your book for Christmas.  They thowt it were beltin
:)

We come from Ashton-in-Makerfield, near Wigan but I'm afraid I live in
Bolton now. It's not the same as Wiggin tha' knows.
Any road up, my dad wondered if you knew why the Munitions factory was built at Risley....he was told that it was because of the local conditions.  The land is very marshy/boggy, being peat bog around there, and the atmosphere is very damp.  If there was ever going to be fog, then Risley was the first to become shrouded in mist - obviously a good cover for the factory, and observation planes would find it difficult to see.

My dad is very interested in local history and our family tree, and writes and recites Lancashire monologues in local old folks' homes, clubs etc.  He
has done quite a lot of research, especially for Ashton as that is where he has always lived, and has a small collection of interesting items relating
to the local area.Ah'll be seein thi! Tara

Claire Brennan
John Woodcock

Dave sez: Thanks for that Claire and John. I never knew that about Risley - makes sense though.If you go there now, you can still see potholes in the moss where it appears bombs or shells were tested.

Have a visit there if you get the chance - there is a vistor's centre relating to the flora and fauna and a tall tower where you can see the surrounding countryside. Well worth going...

(See the article written by my mum on the main Lanky page about her experiences there during the war) 

Email: groger@lightspeed.net

Sender: Roger Bailey, Bakersfield, California, USA

Comments: My late Pop was born in Oldham and expatriated at the age of 13.
Do you happen to know the location of the Top House Commercial (Oldham?). The address is 38 Co-operative St.; I have found no fewer than three Co-operative Streets (Shaw, Springhead, and Uppermill. The proprietor, Eddie Heap, is a relative whom I would have the opportunity to meet in a couple of weeks, if I could find the place. I'm enjoying your excellent site.
Thanks

Dave Sez: Sorry Roger - haven't a clue on this one - can anyone else help?

Email: BTDODGY@aol.com

Sender: Carol/Blackburn,Lancs. Now Oklahoma

Comments: This is a great page, I need to refresh my dialect! Get everybody's knickers in a twist.

Email: khabir@etel.ru

Sender: Valeri Khabirov,  Russia

Comments: All is well and quite informative

Dave sez: Er, Spacebo, Valeri...

Email: http://www.ayup.co.uk

Sender: Northerner

Comments: Just over here on me holidays from Yorkshire. So nice to find a website with a bit of northern spirit. Keep on keepin' on!
Sometimes even us tykes have to admit there's culture your site o t' Pennines an all!!

Ayup! is a Yorkshire website, but there's nowt to touch your site, I've got to admit!!

I'm considering a "Foreigners" section. Your site would be on it, if you don't object that is.... [You know what us tykes er like. Anywhere further than Derby and we get a nosebleed!]
Keep up the brilliant work....

Si thi.

Dave sez: I don't believe this. Praise from "th'enemy". Still North is North - it's us lot against the rest. Beggar Scottish independence - what about Independence for the North of England? Then we wouldn't have to put interest rates up to keep house prices down in London. Our industries would stand a better chance of surviving.  I'm serious. 

Thanks Northerner. I've a confession to make - me favourite ale is Timothy Taylor's Landlord Bitter - brewed in Keighley!

I've only just fun t'site.  I hope to 'ave a sken at it later, but I reckon it looks reet gradeley.  I've already seen some words and phrases I haven't heard for years, deawn 'ere i'th'Seawth.

Do you know where I can find a copy of "Beawton's Yard", by Sam Laycock?  Or, failing that, tell me who lives at No 6 (verse in full, please).

Peter Royle

Dave sez: No sooner sed. I've put it on the website (see Lanky poems). Hope you enjoy this owd Lanky favourite which has been recited for many years

Email: mad_mason@yahoo.com

Sender: Kevin Mason; Durban, South Africa.

Comments: I really enjoyed your site. As a Burnley boy, who has not returned home since leaving for Africa in 1959, it was like coming home. Well done!

Sender: Barbara Hoertz, Buford, Georgia, U.S.A.

Comments: Dear Dave:

Tha's a reet card.   No doubt about it, Lancashire folk are unique. (Dave sez: We ruddy are an all!)   Hurray for us!

I was born in Clayton-le-Moors during WWII.   Also lived in Accrington for a number of years.   America's been home for the last 35.   I love Georgia but keep my Lancashire roots strong.

Look forward to visiting with you again in the new year.     

Email: SofferL@aol.com

Sender: Lynne Soffer/San Francisco/USA

Comments: Thank you for this terrific site. I'm an anglophiliac actor/dialect coach who is just delighted to have come across this site. You are enriching more people with it than perhaps even you have imagined....

Dave sez: Thank for Lynne for those kind remarks. If tha wants to know how fert speyk proper, cum back anytime luv...

Email: jonty@vic.australis.com.au

Sender: Casson, Doris.   Moe, Victoria, Australia

Comments: It was interesting to read the "dialect" poem and although born and bred in Oldham or Owdham or "ruffyed" town some of the words I found very hard to say or translate.  I always thought that the "dialect" was based on the words "thou" "thee" and "thy".   I must buy your book.   Avagoodweegend.

Dave sez: Eh?

Email: chris@cbryant1.freeserve.co.uk

Sender: Rossendale

Comments: Two Blackburn tacklers, tired of Blackpool, determined to go to the Norfolk Broads, and spend the annual holiday on a boat. Luck came their way the first day, and quite a haul of decent sized fish were landed.
Says Bob to Tum- "Did ta mark that spot where we've ben fishing?"
"Aye, I put a cross on t'boat."
"Tha silly fool, we mightn't get t'same boat to-morrow."
-------------------------------------------------
Two Bacup tacklers were indulging in the mid-day smoke when one said to the other:
"Bill, thad dowter o'mine has started taking lessons on t'piano , and th say she's doin' champion.Does ta know owt abeaut music?"
Bill: "Nowt."
Tummy: "Then tha'll nod hev yeard abeaut       Beet-oven's works."
Bill: "I've heard nowt, but I reckon they'll be like rest o't mills, workin' short time."

Email: rdavies@houstoneng.ndo.co.uk

Sender: Robert Davies Dorking

Comments: Reet lets get down t'it. first awll there's yon Elaine (Perth Western Austrailia)from Croston tellin us awll abart Chippy Eddies. Corse us Tarleton Lads thowt Croston lasses wur reet gud. I bet Elaine knows t'Nelson (Reggies shop reet by the chippy). Top class ale house wur Nelson. Run be Reggie and Sally. Reg wudn't serve us on Sundays "Y'ell after wate while wife cums 'ome fre Church" An wur about Trafford Arms( Top Shop) an t'Grapes, Black Horse and t'Roobin Hood. Aye reet grand place is Croston only a small village but well provided fur wi pubs. We supped some OBJ's an Black & Tans aw made be Duttons. Duz tha remember what rice pie is Elaine? an dust tha know Millie Moon, Alice Duckworth an Irene Trafford. Irene probably lived near ya a'top o Church Lane.

Then ther's this lad Frank Wilson (Alberta) fre Pooert (proper way ta say Southport) another place wer Tarleton Lads like to show ther talents at Floral 'all. Naw then Frank wur asking about Wareing's at Bonks. I tell yer the're all Wareings there lad nee deep they are. More than tha cun wave a stick at. Any road up I'll ask me mate Hugh Wareing (lives ont Moss duz Hugh)when I phone im on Sunday He'll put us write.

Reet gud site this is next time I mite tell yer o Henry Moss (he lives ont Moss as well) but Henry is 80 odd and he rittin down lots o words wi write spelling as well

Merry Christmas Dave and all Lankys wherever you are a Happy New Year.   

Dave sez: Thank you Robert. A Merry Christmas to you and yours and to all Lanky folk everywhere. Wishing you all a safe and prosperous 2000.

PS. Did you hear about the Yorkshireman who went outside his house on Christmas morning and fired his shotgun in the air - then went back and told his kids that Father Christmas had committed suicide!

Email: jheys@wanet.com.au

Sender: Cannington,Western Australia

Comments: Lovely to see some Lancashire dialect. Many of the phrases are very familiar.

Email: faricy@bigpond.com

Sender: Kevin Faricy; Barrack Heights NSW Australia

Comments: Just found your site. The best yet. Can't stop laughing at Lanky tales.
Origins from Owdham. Mam & DAD came from Hindley. Love to hear from anybody. If anyone knows I am an original Bardsley Crow
Look after Thee sens. Kevin

Email: norn@atlant.ru

Sender: Simon, St Petersburg\Russian Federation

Comments: T'best waay ti get out o'Lancashire is
t'roid ti Yorkshire.

Now living in St Pete, Russia.

Dave sez: Not sure what point you're making Simon. Why would anyone want to do that? (I was in St Petersburg last July. It was a bit like Bradford - needs a lick of paint.)

Email: rdavies@houstoneng.ndo.com

Sender: Robert Davies Dorking

Comments: Best web site on the Net. Read it every week.
Keep it it up we expats love it!

Regards to all the folks in Tarleton
Dave sez: Cheers Robert. Eigh up Tarleton, Robert sends regards...

Email: gtbawdlands@yahoo.co.uk

Sender: GARY TOWNSEND CLITHEROE LANCS

Comments: WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A YORKSHIREMAN AND A COCOANUT  YOU CAN GET A DRINK OUT OF A COCOANUT

Email: cmaylard@ihug.co.nz

Sender: Colin from Nelson England

Comments: Young tackler goes to the jewellers to buy an engagement ring.
"Eighteen carat?" asks the assistant.
"Nay, ah'm chewin' baccy, but what the 'ells it got to do wi thee".
Dave sez: I can just picture them Southern jessies trying to work that one out!

Thanks for sharing your grandfather's letter for world war 1.

c. porter
www.picklesisters.com

Dave sez: Thank you for reading it. It is very moving isn't it? 

Email: birnie@pathcom.com

Sender: toronto canada

Comments:  As an ex. Blackpool lad 40yrs in the Colonies I've never forgot my Lancashire roots, this site gives me much enjoyment, "THANKS" Dave.

Email: martindavid@baird66.freeserve.co.uk

Sender: Martin Baird

Comments: where I wer dragged up a moggie wer a cat, otherwise a pretty damned good show old chap, could say Bluddy good, if I tried hard enough.

Email: pgr@pgradford.swinternet.co.uk

Sender: A South Wales Valleys Lad

Comments: Excellent website!  Gives me a good laugh!
Joke :

Lancashire man, Londoner, Brummie and Yorkshire man are all in a private jet.  Soon the aeroplane runs into difficulties and the four men all draw up an agreement that whoever died, each of the survivors would put £200 each into the dead man's coffin to help him on the way to the next world.

Sure enough, the Londoner dies and the Lancashire man, Brummie and Yorkshireman all agree to putting £200 into the Londoner's coffin.  The Brummie puts in his £200 in £20 notes, the Lancashire man puts his £200 in £10 notes.  They leave the Yorkshireman to put his money into the coffin - the Yorkshireman writes out a cheque for £600 and takes £400 change!
Dave Sez: A Welshman making jokes about Yorkies?!!! Erm...help! We must be winning!

Email: M63Spark@aol.com

Sender: Mark - Chepstow - Monmouthshire

Comments: I was born in Farnworth as was my Dad, Grandad etc and a lot of my dad's rellies still live in Lancs and always will.  It's a great site you've put together and it prompts lots of memories - but a couple of little Lanky quirks for you - my Grandad used to say of my Nan: "her 'eads fulla jollyrobins" and I used to work in Wigan and the best piece of Wiganese I ever heard was "Yenyon yenyon yen yer?", which is a question asking "how many you were there" (if you're referring to more than one person).

Off to email my dad, Roy, recommending the site to him. Cheers

Lanky greetings
Luvly site, Dave.

The's nowt as queer as fowk, even fowk as left the County Palatine 20 years
ago, like me.

Dr Stephan Larsson
Vancouver Island Cancer Centre
At or about 48° 27' 00" N, 123° 18' 00" W
Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. - H.L.
Mencken

I'm a Preston girl at heart although have lived in Manchester for the last seven years.
 
My husband is a Mancunian and even though he has the benefit of living with a pure Lancastrian since 1992 he still can't speak the lingo! He tries but just can't get the pronunciation right! Oh well maybe in time!
 
My husband has printed off Mabel's story to send to his mother who worked at Snape's in the war filling ammunition belts and the Letter from the Trenches to remember his granddad who was gassed out there but survived! All very interesting stuff!Carry on the good work. The sooner folk get the hang of this Lancastrian speak the better. For some strange reason its very difficult getting folk to understand me at times!!!!Best wishes
Mandy J Harrison (Prestonian

What a luvely experience it waz for me tu see yer page,

I wud be onered if yud put a link to me omepage an a will put one tu yours,
yers ist best av sin sin a left ome fur Canada

Luv

Joan

http://www.vmims.com/middleton.htm

Tha's a reet daft bugger. Aw live in Bath nehw so aw doesn't often hear fowk speykin lanky. 
I was born in St Helens (Lancashire not Merseyside) and raised in Haydock.
 I feel sad that the language (not just the dialect) my grandparents spoke is dying out. I never hear it now but sources are : the Billingers, and Songs of the People: Lancashire Dialect Poetry of the Industrial Revolution (Brian Hollingworth: editor), of which "Come whoam to thi childer an' me is my favourite." The Oldham Tinkers also make me laugh. Living in the South West of England I relish any northern sounding accent and have been told a couple of times by Yorkshiremen living down here that they can't talk to me because I am from the wrong side of the Pennines... In Bath they have a posh shoe shop called "Shoon". When I explain what that means in Lanky I'm met with blank incomprehension.
 Keep it alive.

Isaac Hanson and Great Grandmother and His brother Abraham Hanson and his wife, Margaret were from Lancashire.    I have spent Hours and Hours just trying to find any information on them.   They left that area for the USA in 1854.  I usedta get smacked on the hand for  sayin Hafta instead of Have to.
George Hanson   kb0ang@rollanet.org   Salem, Missouri.     Interesting site

Dave sez: Any info on the Hansons anyone? - yer'll hafta let George know...  

ee by gum !
I was reet chuffed to ave read all o 't yorkshire jokes
made me giggle ta ta for now
G

Lancashire lad lonely in Canada ,ee by ek I missed the way thee talk, Michael Canada
 www.Michael.Woolstencroft@Sympatico.Ca

You have thanks for the many chuckles I had when I 'discovered' the Lanky Website.  I am a former Prestonian, having left there in 1954 to visit my sisters in Montana, USA.  I am still 'visiting'.  During my visit I acquired a husband, two sons and two daughters. I have sent your address to my sister in Minnesota, I know she will enjoy
reading your Lanky pages as much as I did. I very often use Lanky expressions, and my youngest son is a perfect mimic when he tells me to EHY OOP, and says things like...OOO, INT IT AWRIGHT.  I love my Lanky expressions and will use them whenever I like, in spite of the funny looks I get from one or two Yanks.
I use the word LUV a lot when talking to children, never forgot that one. I think it's nice.
Thanks again for the laughs.  I would like to ask if you update your material and if so, when?
Sincerely,
Chat252525

Dave sez: Ey up luv - I update it as and when. Keep tawkin proper sithee...

Email: vhoyle@admin.dce.utah.edu

Sender: Valerie Hoyle - Salt Lake City, Utah

Comments: Hey.

Jokes ??????

Wanted to say I am enjoying this web site....

I shall be in Rochdale in November.. I was born there.
It'll be interesting to see what's going on.

Valerie Hoyle

Dave sez :It will..???

Email: winkritrob@aol.com

Sender: Rita and Robert Winstanley, Charlotte, North Carolina, USA

Comments: Great!!!! As exiled Wigginers wi luv'd it - except the jokes abowt us!
Suggestion: Drop the Wigginer jokes and add more Yorkshire jokes!!!

Keep it up

Rita and Robert Winstanley

Dave Sez: Pie-eyters gerrin' precious - whatever next?! It's all in fun - you can't get more Lanky than Wigginers.Aw reet.. Why do Yorkshiremen take big strides? - To save shoe leather! (It's only in fun you Yorkies!)

Ray Dickinson New Zealand

Comments: Very interested in picture of Atherton Nursery .I was there in 1941 when it had an air raid siren in the yard.
Keep up your good work
Ray
PS who took the picture???

Dave: Not sure Ray. It could have been the local paper. Anyone else go to Atherton Nursery? It is still there in the same place and the same building!

Email: berni_h@yahoo.com

Sender: Wigan

Comments: s'alreet this page like. Tha's done a good 'un :-)

Berni
http://people.goplay.com/thisiswigan

I remembered a poem from my childhood that my grandad used to utter as follows:

A little fly flew past our door
It flew right into the grocers store

It peed on the bacon it Sh.... on the ham and wiped its bottom on the grocers man 

after it had done its dirty work

it went right over to the lady clerk

she was just about to stab it with her pen when it cocked up its tail and did all again. 

I though it may interest you, I have obviously cleaned it up slightly. I have never heard it outside our family (but it could have travelled the world). My grandfather taught it me at around age 6-7 and sometime later in school when a teacher asked 'who knows any poems' I duly put up my hand and recited this, and was hence sent home from school forthwith with a note for my parents. So to get my own back I have taught it my children/grandchildren at about age 6-7 to carry on this important Ainsworth family tradition. I know its not in Lancashire Dialect but my grandad used to speak it in true Blackburn dialect (around 1949).
Dennis Ainsworth
email: dennis@hotpots.com
website: www.hotpots.com

Dave sez: That's brilliant Dennis. Any more funny Lanky rhymes anyone?

Sender: Antony from Oxford

Comments: The "Completely Lanky" web site's superb! I'm from down South but my girlfriend's a true Lancastrian from Chorley.
I can relate to the humour just from living with a true Lancastrian...great site, I'm going to buy the book for her today, she'll love it!

Email: tauron@nw.com.au

Sender: Elaine Byrne,  Perth Western Australia

Comments: What a great site.  We emigrated to Australia in 1983.  I lived as a kid in a little village called Croston, my mum and dad had a chippy called CHIPPY EDDIES, next to Wheatsheaf pub. Moved to Preston when I was 16, and then to Leyland.  Went back home last year and I bought your book to bring back and show to my friends I work with over here.  They are always taking the micky out of my accent.  But I'm proud of the way I speak and I'm glad  haven't lost it.  I can't write it but I can certainly speak it.  Keep up the good work on your site.

Elaine
Perth Western Australia

Dave sez: Oztralians taking the mick out of YOUR accent?! That's pon cawin't kettle brunt arse! Ignore the cheeky sods.

Email: ukeleleman@freewayuk.com

Sender: Gerry Mawdsley

Comments: Sithee its yon mon, Av not Sin thee fer ages, So howt dooin. Wor abeawt FAWDEUX as a reet lanky word, Its not french as you might think but you could use it in a sentence like " My bike has Fawdeux".

Dave sez: Eh?   Stick ter playin't ukelele Gerry - tha'rt brilliant at that. (The George Formby Society meets on the last Wednesday of the month at 8pm at the Red Lion, Westhoughton, Lancashire). Everyone welcome. They'll even teach you how to play like George! Email Gerry for details. 

Email: ecspeakman@home.com

Sender: Nanaimo, Vancouver Island

Comments: Thanks for a reel bit of a laff.  I love Canada, but Canadians can't always appreciate the funny side of life like us lanky lasses can.  You blew away my homesick blues.

Email: dennis@cfnet.net.au

Sender: dennis hannam. brisbane. australia

Comments: A great site. Made my sides ache with laughter.
Keep up the good work. Stay away from Wigan.
Born Heywood 1945,left in Feb 1965 for OZ. Lived in Victoria New South Wales and Queensland.
Queensland the best.
Came ere wi nowt and still got nowt but loving it.
See you later. All the best.
Dennis Hannam.

Email: dennis@cfnet.net.au

Sender: Dennis Hannam. Brisbane. Australia.

Comments: Great site, loved the sayings, just think I used to speak like that and at times I still do.
SIDES ARE STILL ACHING FROM LAUGHING.
I was born in Heywood in 1945 and left there in
1965 for OZ No matter what anyone says Queensland is the best state. Ta tar for now . All the best.
Dennis Hannam

Email: dhaslam@canada.com

Comments: not too bad but I still missed a few o' owd expressions. Could have got permission for the Rochdale cowboy  or referenced over to him..Ever heard of the lancashire lad poem.

I like the site and sorry that the feedback is not in lanky as well..

Email: neptune@cgocable.net

Sender: Annette Smith, Burlington.Ontario,Canada

Comments: Did you hear about the cannibal who wouldn't eat clowns, because they taste funny.

Dave sez: Er, aye I did...

Email: rjo1ugs@bolton.ac.uk

Sender: R. O'Connell    Keauw Yed City (Westhoughton), Lancs.

Comments: Reet gradely site!
I was born in Farnworth, nr Bolton, lived in Atherton but have since moved to Westhoughton (Owfen), and I'm reet proud to live in God's own county, Lancashire, not Greater Manchester!
Its nice to see that someone is promoting our language on 't net!
But why do you not include "scouse" words in your guide? I know that it is a different lancastrian twang to the Lancs that people elsewhere speak, but nevertheless it is still lancs!
Yours, Richard O'Connell.

Email: SWahnon@co.slc.ut.us

Sender: Sheila Perdue, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA

Comments: Dave: this page is hilarious...I am sitting here with tears in my eyes from laughing... I was born and raised in Warrington. Left for Canada when I was 12, then on to the USA.  I can remember my Dad using some of your phrases. One he used to say was "Grace before meals and grace afta.. Them that didn't get enough shoulda etten fasta"...I am coming home in November for a visit, and will definitely buy your book...I will be in Bradford, Yorkshire...( I know...I know..) but that is where my friend lives... but will be visiting Warrington.  I am going to try and e-mail the people in the US that are from Lancashire... Thanks again
Sheila

Dave sez: Bradford?! Bradford?! Bluddy Nora! 

PS Shortly after Sheila posted this, a tornado hit Salt Lake City.! 

Email: wshaw@siue.edu

Sender: Wendy Shaw Illinois\USA

Comments: I was born in Oldham - this page really took me
back to when I was a kid!  I teach cultural geography in an American
University and always give examples of Lancashire
dialect when we discuss language.

Dave Sez: Keep spreadin't Lanky gospel Wendy.

Email: michael-g.howard@virgin.net

Sender: Michael Howard, Blackburn, Lancs

Comments: Neah then, this is a reyt gud site, spokun like a proper lanky bloke wud seh.
Av just bin t'watch Rovers this aft (Aug 7th 1999), an thi wur a load of old cobblers, ay ope it'll get better furt'rest ut season.
Thur wurnt much stuff from Blegburn ur Darren in theer, so cum on you Darreners speyk up!!

Email: pmcayton@wolfenet.com

Sender: Mark Cayton, Seattle Wa

Comments: Great Site.

I grew up in Burnley 'til I was 9, then things took a bit of a downturn and I ended up in Blackpool for ten years.
I loved the site. It tewk me back. May a recommend one of my favourites..
'az geet a fag? (Please may I have a cigarette)
All the best
Mark

Email: titansabresword@yahoo.com

Sender: Henry From coppull lancashire and proud of it currently living in new york  usa

Comments: ow do. ya outaa be proud ov ya self ya make a born n bread lancashireman away from his home cry
thanks I'm in new York USA.. Missing home.Ya just cheered me up no end
and if there's any english folk in ny or states who wanna hook up email me seems the brits dont club together  here like the italians irish etc and i could use some english company take care from big H.

Dave sez: Sorry H - didn't mean fert make yer skrike! Come on you Yanky Lankies - get in touch with him.

Email: nholliday@skylinc.net

Sender: Norma Holliday - Hamilton, Ontario Canada

Comments: I came across your website while surfing, finding out about my father's homeland - his name was Gilbert Henry Ramsbottom, born in Preston, Lancashire around or about 1903.
I enjoyed reading the dialect from Lancashire.
Thanks for the chuckles.

Dave sez: There is a place in Lancashire called Ramsbottom where your ancestors must have come from. The locals call it - wait for it - Tup's Arse. (Tup being a male sheep)

Email: autograph@netcentral.co.uk

Sender: Derek Brandwood,19 Longmeadow Grove,St Lawrence Court, Denton, Manchester M34 2DA

Comments: Great website.

Sender: Jim Farrow, Detroit, USA

Comments: What about an on-line reprint of Teddy Ashton's
Lancashire Annual?

Email: Mlou1173@aol.com

Sender: Mary Lou McLaren, Ketchum, Idaho, USA

Comments: Thanks so much for this wonderful site.  The audio portions gave me chills....was just like listening to my Grandpa who grew up in Bolton.

Dave sez: Owdo Mary Lou (cue for a song!) I was born about 4 miles from Bowton - so that's why I sound like him

Brian Parkinson,  brianp@mcsi.net

Comments: Na then Dave,
Tha's getten a reet gud page 'ere. Ah'd almost forgot that sum folk still speak proper. Ah've lived int US fert last 32 years an ahv awmust forgetten what a gud pint tastes like. Ah really bluddy screwed up and married a Yorkshire lass back in 1957 but Ah'm still tryin to make best on it, she was in MI5 and did a good job of hiding her dialect! Keep up t'good work
Parkie 

Dave sez: Commiserations Parkie...

Alan Wilson;Surrey BC Canada; thewils@hotmail.com

Comments: Na'then. There's nobbut just

Carole Kluger; Hanson, Kentucky; ckluger@hotmail.com

Comments: Your web page gave me a lift on this humid Kentucky morning.  Thank you. This part of the U.S. is much like home-beautiful country and coal mines.

Dave sez: "Thank you Carole for those lovely comments. There's a section in the book called Lanky Goes Yanky where, for instance, "Lay some skin on me, man" is translated to : "Pass me the Black Puddings, serry..."

Tony Neale;Isle o Man (Ex. Sheffield)

Comments: Nathen.  Gu easy on uz Tykes.  Yer Git!
Dave sez: "Git" must be a quaint Yorkshire expression for "extremely intelligent Lancastrian gentleman."

Charlotte Mercer, Brussels, charlotte.mercer@skynet.be

Comments: Nathen, Dave lad! Well ah'll go to't top o' ower stuurs - brilliant to find this site that makes me feel at home in sunny (?)Belgium. I'm from Accrington and I really miss Lanky folk and Lanky humour. Ta chuck!

Dave sez: I really feel sorry for you Charlotte - sat sitting in a sunny Brussels square supping wonderful Belgian beer and eating chips wi mayonnaise on! Seriously though, you're not a million miles fra wom. Next time you're home, buy some Lanky books to take back with you - then you will always have the humour with you. Any good Northern bookshop sells them.Thanks for the nice remarks.

PHILLIP TIPTON. ST HELENS LANCASHIRE (NOT MERSEYSIDE)

Comments: GREAT SITE ABOUT THE GREATEST.

Phyllis (Smith) Becker, Ten Sleep, Wyoming, USA:  rayscane@tctwest.net

Comments: I thoroughly enjoyed your page.  It really brought back some wonderful memories of me Mum and Dad speaking.  I was born in Whiston, but moved to the USA at an early age and quickly lost me Lanky accent.  Oh to have it back again!

Dave sez: Thanks Phyllis. Just keep reading't book - you'll soon get it back!

Stu (Fozzy)Foster;Thumrait,Oman stuart@gto.net.om

Comments: I remember the book from a few years ago but have lost my copy. Can't recommend it highly enough.

Dave sez: Very kind of you Stu. As someone once said: "It's the best laugh I've had since the mother-in-law caught her t*ts in the mangle!"

Barbara Ferguson. I live in Clayton-Le-Moors near Accrington and I often hear people say something like, I's agate (well it sounds like that to me).  I think that they mean " I was saying".  Can you throw any light on this expression?   I believe it is used differently in Bolton,. There I think it means " I was doing".  My roots are in Liverpool so my Lancashire understanding is slightly different to the Accy variety.

*Dave sez:I can only speak from the point of view of somone who spent most of his early life in the Atherton area. There, agate means I was occupied with ie: I was agate doing something; in the act of...but it can also mean having a go at someone as in "He were gerrin' agate of me!". It can also mean "I was saying" as in : "I were agate 'Don't use your cheek to me!' ".Just shows how one dialect word can be multi-purpose. We don't waste owt in Lancashire! Hope you enjoy the book..

Roger Barton, Sheffield Yorks :(, mcvitiecat@aol.com

Comments: I was very interested to read Mabel Dutton's story.  My mother worked for Riley's Chemicals during the war.  They made war gasses.  Fortunately Mum worked in the office, but she was expected to "muck in" as required.

: Trace; Bolton;

Comments: I spy wi my little eye sumthin beginnin wi 'th'

Thashtray ont telly

(My younger sister thought that this is what it was called) a 'thashtray' !!

Scottsplains@accel.net

Comments: eh up! asta seen three old mates o' mine. Their monikers are: Mr. Dennis W. Benze, Mr. Ken Forsch, Mr. Gerard O'Dea (was, maybe still is, a bloomin boarding house keeper on Palatine Road Blackpool.
The lads are sandgrown'uns same as me, all from Bright and Breezy Blackpool. Ginger Benze lives or used to live on Orchard Ave. South Shore. He may be still a teacher at the Blackpool & Fylde College.  E was rite proper edificated and all these fellows go to the Bruns Grove Working (HA) mens club in Blackpool.Hope someone can help.
My address is : ROY INGHAM C/o Scott's Plains Recycling Inc. (Wher ther's money) 390 Pido Road, Peterborough, Ontario, Canada, K9J 6X7

Dave sez: Perhaps someone in the Blackpool area can look them up in the phone book and email the info on to Roy.

Roger Butler Walsingham Canada . Email : fourfinger@hotmail.com
Comments: What a site. Laughed so hard my wife thought I'd lost my mind. Can't expect Canadians to get the point can you ? Formerly from MOSSLEY near ASHTON  now Tameside what ever that is, always a LANKY at heart- any Lankys in Canada,love to hear from you. Roger Butler, Ontario.

Dave Sez: Come on you Canadian Lankys - get in touch with Roger. Get some Lanky neets going!

Carolyn, Washington, USA, fearing@earthlink.net

Comments: I loved your website. It reminded me of home and all those words and expressions I'm forgetting.
One saying my grandparents used to use when I'd done something wrong because I was acting "as thick as two short planks," was "Ay, and tha knows what Thought did -- followed a muck cart and thought it were a wedding..." or, "planted egg and thowt 'en ud grow." Anyone else heard these?Thanks..In Washington, DC via way of Wigan

Dave sez:" Another less salubrious one was "Aye - he Sh*t in bed and thowt he were on't petty!" (lanky for lavvy).

June Nowell june_nowell@hotmail.com

Comments: Hi, I loved this page, took me a while to figure out some of the words, its been 15 years since I was in Blackburn, Lancs.  I live in Canada, maybe someone remembers me. June Foster, Duckworth St Primary and Billinge Grammar.  This page is great.

Andy Lomax, Tromsø, Norway - lomax@online.no

Comments: Owfner (a person whose origin is Westhoughton) goes into a pub:
Owfner: Gi' uz a pahnt o' bitter...
Landlord person: Whitbread?
Owfner: Aye, I'll a' three slices....

Pete McCann, Preston, pete_mccann@hotmail.com

Comments: Them t'others should speighk proper, like what we does!
You should speak with the proper linguistic inflections!
Well I'll go t'ut foot o'our sturs.
Well I shall go to the foot of our stairs.(I'm surprised.)
'E fell down't' coil oil.
He fell down the coal hole.
Th'ole in't wall.
The hole in the wall.

cameronscrook@compuserve.com

Comments: I was interested in your Lanky Page, particularly the bit about Yorkshiremen.Which made me think.  Why not have a Yorkshire Jokes section? You could start with:

1.  The definition of a Yorkshireman: a Scotsman with all the generosity squeezed out of him.
2.  Copper Wire was invented by two Yorkshiremen fighting over a penny!
3.  You can tell a Yorkshireman's house at Christmas: parking meter on the roof; turnstile on the chimney.
4.  The best thing which comes from Yorkshire: the A59.

Cameron S. Crook

Ann Langham, Bethany, Canada   ann@puredata.net

Comments: reet good site, will visit again

Edith Peppin ct568@m130.aone.net.au

Comments: Brill reading! Thanks for the laugh.

Neil Worthington, Doncaster

Comments: Ow do!

If you're still partial to mint balls, wander over to my place:
http://freespace.virgin.net/neil.worthington/unclejoe.htm

Neil Worthington (ex Wiganer)

Jo Lord, Fareham

Comments: Very, very funny - brought tears to my eyes!

Jenny Hodgson, Princeton, jhodgson@princeton.edu

Comments: Thank you so much for this reminder of home

Jenny H, Princeton NJ (ex Preston)

Did you know it was a Yorkshireman who made the Grand Canyon? He dropped 10 pence down a rabbit hole!

John Wilson, Chowbent.

Mike Dutson, Affetside (Bury), mike.dutson@zen.co.uk

Comments: Here's a lanky joke, maybe you've heard it, but it made me laugh.

A Wiganner (pie eater) and his wife went to Spain for their hols. They don't like the food so took with them a suitcase full of pies. On the first day the missus shouts over the balcony to her husband next to the pool "Tha dinner's aht". whereupon he rushes up to the room and declares "gradely, a couple o' grand pies" he then realises there is no gravy. He says to his wife "ey up lass, wheres uz gravy. Tha knows uz can't eat uz pies 'bout any bista'.(Bisto)..". She replies, "I've forgotten it!! So you'll have to mek do". He says "Well, I can't eat uz pies bout any bista'..Thee'll ave t'go t'town an geet sum". His wife replies "Tha daft ayputh, wer in Spain, they don't sell bista..But there's another English couple in the room opposite. They may have some. Go an' ask". This he proceeds to do. He crosses the corridor, knocks on the door and the occupant asks what he wants. The Wigan gentleman shouts out "Ast' anybista" and